WHAT HAPPENED TO HOSPITALITY?
We have had many people in and out of our lives in the 25 years we have served the Lord. Our family has been a part of several churches and pastored for almost 17 years now. We know how devastating losing a loved one can be and how during these times it’s nice to not have to worry about cooking meals and cleaning while at the same time mourning your loved one. We know this! Most older Christians know this. Our kids know this, I hate to admit it but they use to think it was fun for us to cook food and take it to the funeral home for families who had lost someone.
Last week my sister lost her husband. She was devastated! Their sons were devastated! His mom, dad, the whole family. It seems a natural thing to me to cook for someone in this situation, especially my family. I cooked one day. When funeral arrangements had been made I was contemplating whether I should have our church cook or not. We are an hour away (no big deal). I decided not to, for one no one in our church had contacted me to reach out to our family, kinda sad for me but I understand. But the main reason is our nephew is very active in a large church there in their town and the uncle that was preaching the funeral pastored a church there also so my thinking was there will be way too much food so I will not take any. I eventually did have 2 of our families ask if they needed to cook or do anything (I love our people) but of course no, there will be plenty.
Friday night, no food! Nothing! Wow! I was amazed and felt bad also because in my assuming I had not “made sure” that food would be brought. I asked my sister and nephew if anyone was bringing food for them and no was the answer. Saturday I bought food for them to take home after the funeral.
Maybe this courtesy is fading out? I’m not sure, we still carry food to funeral homes here in our hometown. What about you? Do you try to prepare a meal or dish for friends or family when someone passes away? Just wondering, I know it’s not a big deal. It’s more of a courtesy, a gesture to say, “I’m sorry for your loss, I know you need to eat so here let me lighten your load.”
On a different note, I was kinda feeling down while getting ready for the funeral, kinda feeling sorry for myself (oh me, I sometimes get in the way of myself). All these years “being there” for others during their loss or hospital stay or surgery and I had only one person call and ask if I wanted them to come. Of course I said no, “No reason to.” but on Saturday myself got in the way of my thinking and I felt a little disappointed that no more of our friends would at least extend an invitation to go. Five minutes before the funeral started as the family was gathering in the room to say our last goodbyes and pray, coming in the door was the one family who had called and I had told not to worry about coming. I felt like crying like a baby watching them walk in. My heart skipped a beat at the love I felt from them at that moment.
God knows what we need. Churches/pastors are not perfect. We struggle just the same as you. The same as anyone. We have emotions and thoughts that we deal with. Oh yes, we DEAL with them. We can’t let them fester up and grow. Instead of getting upset and talking about the disappointment of the other churches I provided food. Period. This post here, it’s me wondering if times are changing and if people do not provide food for funerals/families anymore? What has happened to hospitality?