When No Means No And Kids Want A Yes
“You heard what I said and my decision is final, NO!”
I’m sure as a mom or dad you’ve said these words countless times. My question to you is, did you stick to it? When you told them no about something did you stick to it? I know it’s hard. The unrelenting, drawn-out, please! I’ve had to deal with it many times, we have three children.
My husband and I decided from the time our son was old enough to ask more than once that if we said no, that was it. There would be no pleading until he got his way. No means No! It wasn’t easy but he was and still is one of the best people I know. He learned to accept what was told him and go on. Rarely did he beg, nag, and drive me crazy. He knew that what I said was the end of the discussion. I didn’t give in and he didn’t pursue, it was established from the beginning.
I have to admit it wasn’t as easy with the other two. No, it had to be demonstrated to them the consequences of not listening and accepting our answers. Well my answer, they rarely tried to get my husband to negotiate. (There has to be a consequence for disobeying)
Our children learned to obey authority early in life. Adults are to be respected and obeyed as long as it was a genuine request being made. Teachers were to be honored for their position and role in our children’s lives. The only reason to disobey was if they went against something we had taught them was wrong.
I know it’s easier to give in but in the long run, if you set boundaries and rules for your children, and stick to them, you and your children will be happier. An unteachable, undisciplined child turns out to be an adult who can’t take orders from a boss or anyone in authority. Where does that leave them? Unemployed and/or in jail.
Start now. Teach them what no means. Teach them there are consequences for their actions. Do it in love. Do it now before it’s too late.
Read this short story before leaving,
I once heard a story of a dad who was out in the yard with his young toddler daughter. She would run toward the road and he would always run after her yelling to stop but the more he yelled and ran after her the more she just kept running. Each time he would catch her before she got to the road. and instead of disciplining her and scolding her he would pick her up and laugh and play like it was a game. Of course, he was relieved he got to her before she got to the road. But one day she started toward the road before he realized she was almost there and as he yelled no she would keep running until she ran into the road in front of a truck that struck her.
To her, it was a game. Dad said no but rewarded her with hugs and laughter instead of discipline. To her the word no, had no meaning.
Until next time,
Train up a child in the way he should go…….