Let’s face it if you are a pastor’s wife or even a pastor there are more demands on you than most people have their whole lives. I mean, not all pastor’s are career pastor’s, they are not supported by the ministry and therefore they have jobs or businesses to run. So there you are, you work, raise a family, have the role of husband or wife, father or mother, team cheer leader/supporter, taxi driver, and also the role of pastor/wife of pastor, prayer warrior, teacher, preacher, hospital visitor, counselor the list could be endless and so seems for so many in ministry.
Don’t get me wrong, ministry is rewarding, especially if you have a good congregation that understands ALL the roles you play. We are so fortunate or rather blessed to have said congregation. (at least now we are)
The demands we sometimes place on ourselves outweigh those that are placed on us by family and congregates. We feel we have to be perfect, look great, be at everything everyone invites us to, have all the answers, don’t speak out of line, remember every birthday, anniversary, persons name, etc, etc. the list goes on and on. We are worn out! Exhausted! Broken and bruised. And left feeling like a poor christian example.
Can I tell you something that has helped me this past year? Don’t be so hard on yourself. I have realized that most of the pressure put on me to be perfect was put on by me through the need to fit into what everyone’s idea of a pastor’s wife should look like. I have looked for the approval of man more than of God. I have tried to keep up with what religion and tradition has said I should or shouldn’t do instead of listening for the voice of God.
I started praying and asking the Lord for His conviction to come on me if I am out of line, or do something I shouldn’t. I’ve asked to be led of Him not to be condemned by what others say I can or can’t do according to their religious beliefs. If God is not convicting me than I will not allow condemnation from man to rob me. Don’t misunderstand me, I will not be a stumbling block to a weaker vessels. If I feel it’s ok to do something someone else is convicted of I won’t do said thing around them. Example: My husband was raised stricked line Pentecostal so he was not allowed to go to the movies as a young man, I have no problem with the theater (except the expense) but if someone else does I’m not going to try to talk them into going.
The Bible is very clear about what we as Christians should or shouldn’t do and so I will live by the leading of the Spirit and not by what man says. I know what sin is. It’s written in the Word so I have no difficulty knowing right from wrong. So I will no longer live by religious rules but by God and His Word. I will not feel guilty if I say no sometimes. If I don’t show up to clean or go to the first, second or third birthday party of a child or grandchild. That is not my calling. I will make some but the pressure is off of me to “have” to go.
I’m saying all of this to say, breathe. Take in a deep breath and know God is for you, not against you and you can be all He has called you to be. Don’t put pressure on you that doesn’t have to be there. If you pray and seek God, if you are in a right relationship with Him, His spirit will convict you when you are doing wrong, then listen and obey. His conviction brings about godly sorry and repentance and PEACE! oh Peace! That’s God!
Convict: Greek word elencho; to convince someone of the truth; to reprove; accuse or cross examine a witness.
The Holy Spirit will convince you of the truth because He is truth. You will know His leading and pull to your heart. It’s different than condemnation of man or satan.
John 16:8 And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:
Condemnation: The expression of very strong disapproval; the act of condemning someone to a punishment.
This brings depression, self pity, and shame.
Romans 8:1 There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
Can I tell you I have been able to breath a little better, relax a little more, and enjoy life not looking around to make sure I’m not doing wrong according someone else’s standards.
Work for the Lord and He will lead you. Take it easy on yourself friend, He is for you!